Saturday, June 19News That Matters

You Want to Threaten Me and My Patrons? Let’s Fuckin Go, Buddy.

This happened about five years ago at my first high-volume downtown bartending gig. I helped open the restaurant and quickly moved my way up to lead bartender and was always given the highest volume, money making shifts and I pride myself on my speed while still offering excellent service.

After getting dragged through the weeds on a week filled with doubles and clopens, service was finally winding down and I was about ten minutes from doing last call. Two of my friends were sitting at my bar, waiting for me to get off so we could go get after work drinks together. I'll call them Kate and Jen. Now at this time I am about 23, 6'3, 185lb Lebanese guy in decently good shape and have had to deal with plenty of entitled assholes and boomers snapping their fingers at me while I'm 15 drink tickets deep. So I don't put up with much bullshit at my bar.

Kate and Jen are the last two at my bar, enjoying some wings and a couple beers. There's a handful of other tables finishing up as well as a group of two women and two men who have been bothering other guests by hitting on them. I'll call the men Douche Lord and Giant Taint. I told my manager to keep an eye on them but he was pretty nonconfrontational and lazy and spent most shifts watching TV or playing minesweeper on his phone. As I'm closing one of my wells, I start to notice DL and GT pointing and nodding at my friends.

I can already see where this is going.

DL walks up to Kate and Jen and puts his arms around both of them and sleezily uses some cheap line and starts to eat Kate's food off of her plate.

Kate: What the fuck, dude? Who do you think you are?

DL: Oh I'm friends with the owner, I was just hungry and wanted some of your wings.

Kate: No! Go away.

Me: Hey buddy, I've already done last call. Please leave them alone. It's time for you guys to leave.

DL: And who the fuck are you?

Me: I'm the head bartender here and am in charge of making sure my guests are having an enjoyable experience and not harassed.

DL: Shut the fuck up dude. Do you know who I am?

Me: I really don't care. It's time to go.

DL: My family owns half the restaurants on this block. You're so fucked.

Me: Cool. It's time to leave now or I'm going to have to call the cops.

DL, now walking over to my bar's entrance: Slaps hands repeated on the bar COME FUCKING DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT THEN ASSHOLE.

At this point I calmly walk to the other side of the bar and grab the bat we keep but have NEVER had to use. I walk back over and tell him to get the fuck out now.

DL: Do something bitch, hit me!

Me: I'm not going to hit you but you need to leave NOW.

DL: Go get your manager, you're getting fucking fired.

At this point I tell my other bartender to go get the manager as I'm not comfortable with leaving this intoxicated and possibly dangerous man near my unattended bar and near two young women. My manager comes up and proceeds to try to reason with him for TWO. HOURS. past close. All while my friends, my other bartenders, and I are sitting waiting for them to leave. The girls they brought with them are crying and trying to get them to leave but these two elephant sized assholes are doubling down and threatening to "get our restaurant shut down permanently". First off, yeah right. Second, we were the biggest bar on the block owned by one of the most successful breweries in the country.

Finally at 3:30am, my manager 86's all four of them and tells me to leave through the back because sure enough they were all waiting out front to jump us.

I was upset and worried that I was going to get in trouble for cussing at these wads and for sticking up for my friends with a bat. So I hardly slept that night and came in the following morning to talk with my GM and nip it in the bud just in case. I hate internal beef at work and try to take care of things before they grow and get worse. As I walk up to him, he stops what he's doing and looks confused.

GM: What are you doing here? It's your day off.

Me: I just wanted to talk about last night and make sure the air is clear.

GM: Dude, you're good. If it were me, I would have pulled my knife on that dick.

Assistant GM: Yeah, we put you behind the bar because we trust you. You did the right thing. Go enjoy your day off.

Man I was so relieved and gained so much respect for those two that day. If I hadn't moved out of the city, I'm sure I would still be there five years later, happy as a clam. That night is still burned in my head. But thank God for managers who have your back. I haven't always been as lucky but good management that aren't willing to put up with entitled people are the MVPs.

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