We are monkeys on a floating rock with water, in a seemingly endless vacuum.
There is an overwhelmingly substantial amount of evidence to suggest that any religion or superstitious belief you follow isn't actually true and is just meant to give you a false sense of clarity.
You, just like every other animal on Earth, is only here to fuck (reproduce) and die.
When you die, there is most likely no afterlife. Your brain will cease to produce new cells, and therefore it will shut down, and you will lose consciousness forever. It's similar to the period between falling asleep and waking up, just permanent.
No one will remember you. Every friend or enemy you've made will all die, and so will their kids, and their grand kids, and so on until the human race goes extinct. It doesn't matter how big of an impact you've made to the human race, because no one will be around to celebrate or condemn in the end.
Now, this means either one of two things:
A: Die immediately, because everything is futile and will ultimately amount to nothing.
B: Do anything you want, because it may be better to enjoy it while it lasts, even if everything you do is pointless.
You are in control of your life. It can either be very sad and depressing, or happy and joyful. How you perceive life is what life is.
Lets say I were to look at a rainbow and say that the entire rainbow is blue. Sounds like a dumb statement right? After a brief moment of confusion, you ask me to prove that the entire rainbow is blue. I say that because there is blue in the rainbow, the whole thing is blue. You protest and say that my answer is fallacious, because there are other colors in the rainbow, such as red and green.
Now lets apply that logic to your life. Is everything that happens in your life bad, or are you choosing to only look at the bad things?
That applies to every other emotion or sadness, by the way. I was just using negativity as an example.
Do what you want. Don't let anyone stop you. Both they and you won't remember anyways.