Friday, October 22News That Matters

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A joke from my country (Brazil)

A joke from my country (Brazil)

Entertainment
In an international police convention, American FBI, English Scotland Yard and Brazilian BOPE are about to take part in a competition. A rabbit will be set loose in the woods and the team that retrieves it in the shortest time wins. First goes the Scotland Yard. They use hounds and helicopters and come back with the rabbit in 2 hours. Secondly goes the FBI. They use high-tech gear and drones with thermal image cameras and return with the rabbit in 1 hour. Last to go in is the brazilian BOPE. They return after 20 minutes with a bloodied pig, a written confession and the animal is screaming: I'm a rabbit! I swear I'm a rabbit. submitted by /u/EbbMiddle1446 [link] [comments]
Written on My Forehead

Written on My Forehead

Entertainment
John is at home watching a football game when his wife interrupts, "Honey, could you fix the light in the hallway? It's been flickering for weeks now". He looks at her and says angrily, "Fix the lights now? Does it look like I have GE written on my forehead? I don't think so". Fine, then the wife asks, "Well then, could you fix the fridge door? It won't close right." To which he replied, "Fix the fridge door? Does it look like I have Kenmore written on my forehead? I don't think so." "Fine", she says "then you could at least fix the steps to the front door? They are about to break!" "I'm not a carpenter and I don't want to fix steps, " he says, "does it look like I have Ace Hardware wri...
So a koala bear walks into a brothel.

So a koala bear walks into a brothel.

Entertainment
He picks out the best looking girl, and heads upstairs with her. While up there, he eats her out like a madman, doing things she's never even heard of. After about an hour he gets up heads out the door. The girl stops him and demands payment. The bear doesn't understand. She has him look up prostitute in the dictionary. "a person who trades sex for money." Still a little confused, he asks what it says about him. "koala bear, an Australian native animal that eats bushes and leaves." submitted by /u/WhiteComet99 [link] [comments]