Wednesday, July 28News That Matters

Entertainment

The heat

The heat

Entertainment
Paddy's wife has never had an orgasm so they go to the doctors. After tests the doctor suggest Paddy's wife may be over heating during sex. Paddy refuses to buy a fan and decides to get his mate round to waft a towel on them during sex. After 20 mins of wafting still no orgasm, so his friend suggest a swap. l'll fuck her and you waft the towel. Paddy agrees and within seconds Paddy's wife is screaming in pleasure and has the best orgasm ever. Paddy turns to his friend slowly and say's "and that my friend is how you waft a fucking towel!" submitted by /u/brucedeloop [link] [comments]
Regret taking co-worker’s shifts

Regret taking co-worker’s shifts

Entertainment
Hi, I work as a fast food service worker and I normally work 8 in the morning which is fine by me. Lately alot of workers are quitting because school or better pay,so we are very low on people which sometimes we have to say a bit longer which was still fine by me. We had this pregnant lady at work and she was going to leave soon to have the baby, and my manager was worried about not having someone open up so I volunteered myself. Her schedule starts 4am and ends at 11am front house weekdays and one day backhouse on a weekend (or whatever you call it). I was trained a few days with someone and the first time I did fronthouse by myself the pregnant lady was in the back and came out and complained that I didn't have the chopping block and Pizza containers out and maybe I would of learned ...
Anyone have any advice on going from a server to a floor manager/closer?

Anyone have any advice on going from a server to a floor manager/closer?

Entertainment
I just started training yesterday and am getting a bit confused on how the cash/deposit works at the end of the night. I don't know if all restaurants have the same general procedure? This is what I got so far: Once the last guest leaves go on to both computers and get all the servers tip outs. Tip everyone out. Unlock the safe under the register and grab all of the 50's and 100's from the day. Take to office. Then each register has to have $200 each in specific denominations to bills and change, and then the safe or "petty cash" needs to equal out to exactly 1300, and you're pulling money from the deposit and making change back into petty cash to make sure each register is exact? I don't know I feel like I'm making it more complicated than it needs to be...
A Russian spy under the alias of “Joe Smith” is arrested by American jok. He is put in an interrogation room and confronted by an official, Agent Perry.

A Russian spy under the alias of “Joe Smith” is arrested by American jok. He is put in an interrogation room and confronted by an official, Agent Perry.

Entertainment
Smith: “I don’t understand, why am I being interrogated?” Perry: “Drop the act, Smith, if that even is your real name. We know you’re a foreign spy!” Smith: “WHAT? No! I’m a real American, I can name all 46 Presidents of the United States, in order, with the dates of their inaugurations and their Vice Presidents.” Perry: “We still know you’re a spy!” Smith: “You’re all wrong! I can name all fifty states, US territories, and all their capitals!” Perry: “We still know you’re a spy!” Smith: “Wait… I know every word of the national anthem, the pledge of allegiance, the Declaration of Independence, the Constitution, and the Bill of Rights!” Perry: “We still know you’re a spy!” Smith: “Ok, I submit, I’m a Russian spy under a fake name. But… how could you tell?” Perry: “Because Americans don’t kn...
Just because I put stuff back into the shelf doesn’t mean I work here lady.

Just because I put stuff back into the shelf doesn’t mean I work here lady.

Entertainment, LifeStyle
The other day I was at our local drugstore. I came round a corner and saw an employee stacking some shelves when one of the boxes fell over and everything spread out on the floor. I promptly put my basket on the ground and helped pick everything up and put it into the shelf. Afterwards, I continued shopping, when this 30-something lady tapped me on the shoulder. I flinched away (due to ye olde Rona I'm not really comfortable with body contact right now) and looked at her confused. She practically yelled at me "Where's the painkillers??!" I just pointed to the shelf right next to us, with a big sign on top saying "medicine - pain". She looked at it and then really harshly told me "I don't know what of that I need. I have migraines. Tell me which one to b...